iZoom Babe

I only saw her on one billboard this winter, but now she’s everywhere.  And I’m not complaining a bit.  I didn’t know they needed a superhero to push Indiana’s electronic pickpocket, er, toll payment system, but obviously, they do.  And they designed this tarted up little trollop.

I don’t know what I like better - the fact that she resembles someone I dated once (except not as buff, busty, and amazonian, though still nicely shaped was she), or the fact that in this world where you have to apologize for having a dick, someone got away with coming up with an unabashedly un-politically correct mascot.

Election Day in Indiana

I have now read the definitive word on Indiana voting.  Not a single word can be added or subtracted without diminishing the point she makes.  Tamara, I figured people would find you via Og, but now I must add you to my humble list, for what you wrote is unsurpassed genius:

I’m getting a few Google hits on “Indiana alcohol on election day” for some reason. I am given to understand, via my native Hoosier roomie, that alcohol sales here are a no-go until the polls close. The people who wrote this law probably never envisioned the nightmare scenario of having to choose between Clinton and Obama while blind, stinking sober.  I know that the Limbaugh brigade of GOP monkey-wrenchers out there are going to need to be half in the bag before pulling a lever for Hillary.

Photo Caption Contest

Photo credit: the Hammond Times:

C’mon, come up with a caption. I know you people are all lurkers; only Hammer takes the time to respond. Now wake up and show me what you got! Og, Hoosierboy?

I’ll start: One beautiful flower considers another… heheheheeee

God, America, and You

In a couple of decades we went from this

to this

angry, foul language rant below the fold. And if it applies to you, dear reader, remember it is not a slam at you, but a shake awake, meant in a spirit of love, not hate.

The True Price of Oil

It is known that the same weight in silver can roughly buy the same house in 1962, 1982, 2002, etc. Now here’s a look at the price of oil in relation to that other hard money, the weight of gold:

Feel better? I didn’t think so. It sucks to see your steady wage declining in value. Thank God most of my savings is in commodities; rather, a commodity. I don’t care what this or that sucker says, when it comes to investing just to hang onto what you have, buy tangible crap.

The Sex Scandal without any Sex: the Rise of Obama

In case you may not remember, Senator Obama would very likely be hanging around 57th Street in Hyde Park busting cool with the locals instead of running for the Presidency from the Senate. What launched his career? The Jack Ryan Sex Scandal:

She said he took her to sex clubs, asked her to have sex with him in front of others, she said no, he said okay, and they left.

Once Jack Ryan was dismissed from the ticket, they got Alan Keyes to come in from Maryland and move to Cal City, but unlike New Yorkers, Illinoisans don’t play that game, so Obama won by a landslide. Was it his charisma, his experience, or his vision of change that got him elevated? Nope, it was his lack of opposition. I would’ve liked to see Senator Ditka, though. Hell, he’s more qualified than Obama; he actually ran something: the 1985/86 NFL Champion Chicago Bears.

Da Bears

Da Bears.

Where in the Hell Have They Come From?

I killed a mosquito on the windshield last week. I thought it was a wayward one that was able to somehow find ideal conditions in the car to hibernate, or go dormant, like flies do between the storm windows and inside windows. Today I let one in the kitchen, and killed it in the air by clapping over it. Then I go back outside and see a cloud of mosquitos rising and lowering in the air above the sidewalk. This is the first warm day in weeks. We’ve had a freeze for the past week. What gives with the cloud of dozens of mosquitos?

The Opposite of Progress Is Congress

Why else would a successful industry such as Big Oil (hey, is there a Little Oil, and if so, how do I join, so I can grow up and be as successful as Big Oil?) have to appear before Congress and justify its profits and try like mad to stay out of trouble, while a failed industry such as the home mortgage industry can come there, hat in hand and a palm in the air, and receive love from everyone, including every Presidential candidate save the Libertarians (who haven’t a snowball’s chance in hell of winning, so they can afford to be honest)?

Drunk Animals

… aren’t much different from drunk people. Up to and including the hangover.

Does Anyone Here Know How to Play this Game?

From the hallowed halls of NOAA, the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration (unofficially known by me as The Guys Who Are Payed Millions by Us Poor, Dumb Minions to Know this Crap), we’ve had the 54th coolest winter ever, and February was the 61st warmest month ever. Which a) makes me wonder what the heck does that doublespeak really mean, and b) confirms that the weather is nothing if it isn’t an ever changing beast. Is the earth warming? Yes. Is it cooling? Yes. Is it staying the same? Never.

With millions of dollars worth of bottles and cans spinning around in a locked orbit over the earth, sending reams of data for our best atmospheric scientists (for level of credibility, read: feng shui consultants and dog psychiatrists) to study and ponder as they stroke their long, white beards , you can still get a better forecast out of a farmer or a sailor who can read the sky and the breeze than the whole AMS team.